you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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