Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
