She said her name was "party"
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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