Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I FOUND THE LEGS
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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