Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's official drugs can't kill me
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
