is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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