Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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