I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
