So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
