Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
