you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
