I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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