it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
pop tarts are not kleenex
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
