I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
