Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
