He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You know, be my cock's hype man.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
