Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
