That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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