I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
