i may or may not be watching the land before time
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
