You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
