Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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