Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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