apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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