While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
