The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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