Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
