i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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