he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
