Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
