i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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