is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
