i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
