If i come over, it means nothing
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
