oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
