Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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