I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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