I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
