hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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