help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize