Christians are straight up FREAKS
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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