Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
