I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
A bitchslap is in order.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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