2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
