..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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