I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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