Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm sobbing to NWA
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
