her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
