I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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