I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
