She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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