it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
