Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
