Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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