Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
