he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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