I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Is Oprah even human
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
