garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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