This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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