oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
