Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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