his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Why are your pants in the freezer?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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