they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
