ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
