Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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