I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
